Pain comes before love

OK, I know what being depressed feels like. Matter of fact I'm still here. Don't worry, it won't leave for a while. But in my stage of depression, I've learned that pain will come before love. If you don't feel true pain than you will never be thankful for the good things. Because God realizes that we need to appreciate things so he has to show us how bad it can get but then he makes up for it. My ex- boyfriend, Troy, the one I told you about in my last blog, if he never went out with me then I wouldn't appreciate the next one. There would be nothing to appreciate because they wold have had the same qualities. My best friend Landon for example, I never appreciated him as much as I should have when me and Troy were going out. Honestly, I had no respect for him. Then after Troy broke up with me I realized that he cares for me deeply. Now I thank the Lord everyday that he blessed me with Landon. I don't think I can ever find anyone better than him. He is the best person anyone could ever have. Whoever may have his heart at anytime is a very,very lucky person. He is the reason I am not letting go. He is the one who keeps me from falling apart, he keeps me grounded. I love him. I have just realized that. He is like my brother. He is the only one I've ever let in, the only one I ever will let in. I can't even think of how broken I would be if he were to let me go. Actually I would feel the most hurt I have ever felt. More than when Troy broke up with me, more than when my dad left my mom, and more than when I found out my grandma had cancer. If he left it would be like something that died inside of me. Out of all the days I have complained and whined and yapped on and on about stupid things, he listened and he didn't complain one bit about how whiny I am. He didn't tune me out. So thanks. Point is: don't commit suicide because there is something better coming or it's right in front of you. Always have hope. Never give up. Never say never. Look harder and you'll find whatever you're looking for but NEVER give up and I promise you will be loved. It may not feel like it but it's coming. I thought it was never gonna happen. But if anyone is inspired,thank Landon. He will always be my number one inspiration. He taught me that someone is out there with a glue gun, waiting to glue all the pieces back together. Not immediately, but you are always loved. I will always feel loved.

To Landon,

You will always be number one in my heart. I will never stop loving you. Thank you, I will never give up and now I know that one person will always love me.

NEVER STOP BELIEVING!!!!!!!