Sooo

Well, the reason I haven't been on in a while is because my life is going absolutely perfect. I said I was going to give Troy the second chance, it was Kyle. Me and him have been together for 3 1/2 happy as ever months! Next weekend he will be meeting my main family for our family Christmas reunion. I can't wait. Me and Kayla talk every day! You know, I should get paid for all this writing!

BYE :)))

NOOOOOOOO

My life is over! Kayla moved and shes not comin back. I don't feel like writing anymore.

BYE

WOW

So I did go to the dance with DJ. He is one of the cutest people ever so I asked him. He said yes, and he is super sweet. He's not like the other guys I dated he is really sweet. He's a good dancer,too. Yeah, Landon asked Kaleigh out. But she said no because she like Edwin alot. For now. Nothing much to say. I'm doin great!

BYE

I Knew It :(

I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Kyle dumped me last night. So in that case I'm not going to school or the dance. It's always after a month, through text, they don't tell me why, and they tell me a stupid excuse like "don't text me or call me anymore because that would make it harder than it already is." I wish they could just say I dumped you because I don't like you anymore and I don't want to talk to you anymore. Also they think that when they text you it will hurt less, NO! It hurts worse because after they text you , you won't forget about it. That text can always be there and you will always think about it. It doesn't give you the proper closure. In other words you will never get over it. So guys, don't break up with someone through text. It just makes you look like a bigger butt hole than you already are. Preferably  just don't break up with anyone in general. Than the whole world would be happy for a change. Yeah isn't my life just awesome? I buy $100 worth of stuff for the dance and I'm not going. And come to find out,this only my guess, but Kyle and Troy hate each other(which I'm positive of they both told me) Kyle was only dating me to make Troy mad. At the beginning of our relationship Kyle said he would laugh at Troy and say he stole his girlfriend. Speaking of Troy, he may be the first person I give a second chance. He seriously is the only person that can get under my skin. I love him. Which, trust me, I'm surprised to! Honestly, I have been loving him. I just didn't want admit it to Landon. He already said I told you so once this week. I totally understand and shouldn't have yelled at him when I did. He told me that Kyle was going to do that right before the dance and I yelled at him and said I didn't believe him and told him that he was just trying to ruin my happiness. But he wasn't he was trying to keep it. And I feel terrible right now. I just realized that it was wrong. I have to go, I have someone to apologize to.

       BYE

PS listen to your friends!!!

Just Awesome!

Every thing is going awesome! Me and Kyle are going to the homecoming dance in 2 weeks, Me Kaleigh, and Kayla have our dresses and our dates, me and Landon text and talk everyday, me and Troy are tight again(but still not dating), and I made the LJH volleyball team. Oh yeah, and wolves are undefeated in football. I think Kyle really likes me ,too. Although, our relationship isn't really like me and Troy's.We were more romantic. Me and Kyle are just playful and humorous all the time.But I have to say I kind of like it. I wouldn't mind Kyle hugging me every once in a while, though. We actually had our first hug yesterday and he held my hand. So here is the exact way everything is for the dance. Oh wait! Before that, me and Edwin are talking and tighter than ever again! He did call Kyle a monkey though because I think he's jealous. Anyway, Me and Kyle; Kaleigh and Edwin; and Kayla and Corey. As far as dates. Dresses; mine is purple, alittle above the knees, v-neck, with 3 inch American Eagle heals. Kaleighs, Purple and black sparkly v-neck alittle below the knees, same shoes. Kayla's dress is pink(no shoes yet).Oh if anyone was wondering why I am typing at this time on a Tuesday, I'm sick. It may be the flu. HAHAHAHA I'm so excited because Landon said that the wolves wouldn't beat Indy ( the school Landon goes to and Troy is on Indy's football team) but we beat them 24-6. What now! Me and Landon play like that all the time. I like the Yankees, he likes the Red Sox, and Troy likes the Braves so we go at it all the time. But I don't bet to often because I just got a new job and I can't afford to be losing all my money. Even though the Yankees are the best and I know that they could win any day I still don't wanna risk losing my pay.

well bye.

This is important.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love
for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone
you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every
sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

OH BOY.......

So, guess who called last Friday. My ex- love of my life. The one who I cried over and said I would never get over. TROY VIDAURE. He said he wanted to be friends. Landon said that we would eventually go out again and I said never. I felt that pain once and I'm afraid that if it were to happen again that I wouldn't live through it. Landon said that I apparently still want him and he knows it. That the morning after he dumped me I called Landon and said that I'd realized we would never be together again. I didn't mean that Troy was never going to relize the huge mistake he made and come back. I meant that when he did relize the mistake he made and came back, that I wouldn't be there. If something went wrong in the first relationship then that's just setting something up to go wrong in the next one. I don't give out second chances. I love you and want you back doesn't make me break down and cry and instantly want him back like other desperate freaks. I don't want him back, he disgusts me! But I was a little heartbroken when he decided to call me when I had finally moved on with my life. When all the pain was gone and I didn't even think about him anymore. It's like for the two months after he dumped me he got in my head and made sure I was in pain. That I would never forget what went on. And he thought that he had accomplished that so he moved on to mess with someone elses head. But when he went back to mine, he was no where in it. Not even a tiny bit of him left. So he had to call and work his way back. That's what seemed to be going on but sadly that's not possible so apparently God wants us to be connected to each other because he seems to always be there now. I guess that's just how things are meant to be. For now. I won't mess with what the universe wants. But, I will once I find out what's going on.

Bye.

WOW!

Boy am I surprised! Ever since school started, I'm having the best time I've ever had. Even though I shouldn't get my hopes up, I am. So ever since school started last Thursday, me and Kales have added a new addition to us. Ms. Kayla. I feel awesome because she is totally digging this dude that I introduced her to that she liked and now he likes her to. All because of me! Luckily I still talk to Landon everyday. Also a long time ago I said that this dude on Troy's baseball team was cute named Kyle.Turns out that it's Kayla's older brother in the 8th grade and now goes to my school! ANNNNNNDDDDD he's taking ME to the dance. He wants to. ME! I'm on a whole other level of exstatic. I'm just so happy again!

Well, Bye.

Sooooo.......

So, school starts Thursday meaning I won't be able to get on as much. Being I will be in 7th grade, I'm going to have far more homework than I did in 6th. It also means that I won't be seeing Landon as much since he doesn't go to my school, sadly. But hopefully I'll be seeing him close to every Friday and maybe weekends. So basically I will give you updates on how suckish everything is going on Wednesdays and weekends (most likely Sundays). On Mondays I have Gym, Tuesdays football games GO WOLVES, Thursdays dance, Fridays high school football games with Landon, Saturdays most likely to be with Landon or Kaleigh. This Summer went by super fast. It's so crazy that the first month of my summer was the best summer in the entire world. I had great a great family, the best friends in the world, and the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ever have. Then, it all fell apart. Even me. It turned into the crappiest summer. I was finally starting to be happy with my life, it was the best. Then it sucked again. I should've known that once someone saw the real me they wouldn't like me anymore. I gave him everything and did everything I could possibly and impossibly do to make him happy and then he changed his mind about me. For Marissa. I'm sorry, I think I have an obsession with being mopey so everyone will feel as crappy as me. Sorry.

Bye.

Why me?

So,nothing interesting has gone on lately. I went to Kaleigh's house on Tuesday and spent the night. Then I went out to lunce with her today. We ate at La Carreta's Mexican. We also went to JCPenny's,Target,Starbucks,Hobby Lobby, and Cato. So my very good friend Edwin won't talk to me. What happened was, he asked me out and I said that I had to ask my mom. Apparently he took that as a yes and my mom said no. Then around 11-ish he texts me saying "it's over". I said first of all, it never started and second of all, why are you being like that? Then he says he still has feelings for Kayte. He needs to figure out who he has feelings for. But anyway, he thinks I'm mad at him or something. So I sent him a text saying, "Look, if you think I'm mad at you, I'm not. If you think I'm going to try to steal you from Kayte, I won't. And if you think I didn't want to go out with you, I did. SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO IGNORE ME. He won't even text me and everytime I text him he's about to go to sleep. It's super irratating! Why do all my friends always assume that I am mad at them? This is why I won't date my friends. What if something were to happen and we weren't friends anymore? That would suck. But whatever, I no you guys are tired of me complaining!

Bye.

Again...?

Okay, this weekend I'm going camping. No laptop,no cell phone, no texting. Just me,my iPod, and the great outdoors.Lovely. So I'm going to go ahead and plan out this whole weekend. I'm gonna be with my Meamaw starting tomorrow. We're gonna listen to her old love songs and she'll think I'm paying attention. Then we'll get there,go hiking and she'll be talking while I'm listening to MDE on my iPod.(Which stands for Modern Day Escape). On Friday we are most likely to have a pick nick. Cha Ching, cute guys are most likely to be there. Problem.... Meamaw doesn't know that I've ever dated a guy in my life.(Hopefully she doesn't find this website).On Saturday, we are gonna ride bikes for however many miles take a rest and go back. Most likely not to make it back in one piece since I happen to be the clutz of the century so it's likely to turn into a disaster really fast.But oh well,I'm used to disasters,it's my life definition. On Sunday I'll come home all scratched up from the previous bike ride and we'll call it a weekend.

Goodbye for now,
Ash

Most Terrible Weekend of the Century...

Okay, so I didn't write because I was computer-less all weekend. I was at my step-mom's house with my brother. So, what happened was... Friday, I went to their house and my brother says, "I think Roberta (my stepmom) is cheating on her husband.", so we do some investigating, turns out, she was talking to another man on the phone. On Saturday, she left the house at 2 A.M. and didn't get back till 6 A.M. Sounds alot like somethings going on, right?Well, my brother's smart self wrote down everything that was going on down. So my step-loser's husband found it and left. So Sunday she yells my ear off, I get mad and walk to my Nana's house, call my mom , and tell her I'm never going back over there again. I can't take it anymore. I will not sit there and be yelled at because I don't take that. I have never stood being yelled at and I will not start now. Especially when I only wrote it because my brother didn't feel like writing. She is not my mom and she has zero rights to yell at me. She is an adult, yes but I don't care. I have respect for only the people who have respect for me. One more thing, Don't let someone become a priority in your life if you're only an option in their's. Meaning, don't waste your time on people if they're not willing to waste their time on you.

Dear Troy.......

Ok, so I wrote a letter to Troy on July 8th but I didn't have enough courage to send it to him. But I do need to get it out sometime, somehow. So I figured that if I put it here that he would never see it.......................... An hour later............ OK never mind. I seemed to have misplaced the letter that took me two freakin days to freakin write!!!!!! Well this is kinda like how it was.

Troy, July 8, 2009

I wish that you would just come and shoot me cause I don't think that I could be in anymore pain. Today makes an exact month since the day you broke up with me. I've lost my best friend, the best boyfriend, and it seems that no one cares for me anymore. I mean I guess they have been tired of my slumpy depressed mood. But anyway, I didn't write this letter to tell you how hurt or how depressed I am, I wrote it to thank you. You were the best I've had in my life. You were the greatest thing since forever! Even though you probably won't, can you tell your dad that I really miss him and that I thought he was super amazing? I really wish you the best and that you become a wonderful pitcher in the pros! You would be a perfect pitcher. I honestly have to say that I am having a very hard time forgetting you. I don't think I ever will, honestly. When I said I would love you forever, I was meaning whether we were together or not. Since you were my first love I never will forget you. I'm not even close to being over you. You can ask Landon, I'm a mess. All I've done is lay in bed and watch What I Like About You. I've lost 13 pounds. Obviously, I'm different from Kelsey. I starve myself when I'm depressed. But anyway, miss you, still love you, and you'll always be in my heart.

Forever and Always,

ASH NICOLE

And thats almost exactly what it said.

Completely annoyed

Ahhhhhh! When someone tells you not to call unless they call first..... DON'T CALL! Every morning at 7:30, Casie calls me and I told her not to call me unless I call her. At some point she was my best friend. Then in April, she started going out with Landon, and me and him just had soooo much in common. Yes, I know, how could I be best friends with someone I met in April? Well he was just sooo sweet to me and he complements me all the time. Also, unlike Casie, he remembers when my volleyball games are and he's coming to finals next Wednsday. The bad thing is that him and Troy have been like brothers since forever. So I have to share him. Not that I mind sharing Landon it's just the person I have to share him with. I wouldn't mind being friends with Troy, he's just not man enough to see me again because he knows that what he did was wrong and how badly he hurt me. I'm just scared that he's gonna try to talk Landon into not being my friend. But if he's a true friend then he would never do such a thing to me. I belive that he's a true friend. He loves me so I don't have a doubt in my mind that he would ever hurt me. Unless we get into one of our slap-boxing fights. He's really good but I have beat him once.(He claims he " let me win") He's so adorable! But anyway, POINT: if you want to keep a friend just do the simple things they ask, for their sake.

And this was Ash telling you the way to live without drama. (Sorry I just wanted to say that)

Pain comes before love

OK, I know what being depressed feels like. Matter of fact I'm still here. Don't worry, it won't leave for a while. But in my stage of depression, I've learned that pain will come before love. If you don't feel true pain than you will never be thankful for the good things. Because God realizes that we need to appreciate things so he has to show us how bad it can get but then he makes up for it. My ex- boyfriend, Troy, the one I told you about in my last blog, if he never went out with me then I wouldn't appreciate the next one. There would be nothing to appreciate because they wold have had the same qualities. My best friend Landon for example, I never appreciated him as much as I should have when me and Troy were going out. Honestly, I had no respect for him. Then after Troy broke up with me I realized that he cares for me deeply. Now I thank the Lord everyday that he blessed me with Landon. I don't think I can ever find anyone better than him. He is the best person anyone could ever have. Whoever may have his heart at anytime is a very,very lucky person. He is the reason I am not letting go. He is the one who keeps me from falling apart, he keeps me grounded. I love him. I have just realized that. He is like my brother. He is the only one I've ever let in, the only one I ever will let in. I can't even think of how broken I would be if he were to let me go. Actually I would feel the most hurt I have ever felt. More than when Troy broke up with me, more than when my dad left my mom, and more than when I found out my grandma had cancer. If he left it would be like something that died inside of me. Out of all the days I have complained and whined and yapped on and on about stupid things, he listened and he didn't complain one bit about how whiny I am. He didn't tune me out. So thanks. Point is: don't commit suicide because there is something better coming or it's right in front of you. Always have hope. Never give up. Never say never. Look harder and you'll find whatever you're looking for but NEVER give up and I promise you will be loved. It may not feel like it but it's coming. I thought it was never gonna happen. But if anyone is inspired,thank Landon. He will always be my number one inspiration. He taught me that someone is out there with a glue gun, waiting to glue all the pieces back together. Not immediately, but you are always loved. I will always feel loved.

To Landon,

You will always be number one in my heart. I will never stop loving you. Thank you, I will never give up and now I know that one person will always love me.

NEVER STOP BELIEVING!!!!!!!

Sorry you guys

Okay so I haven't been on in a while cause I got a boyfriend on May 1st before I got out of school. We went to the movies on a blind date and we instantly loved each other surprisingly.It was love at first sight. On the sunday after that we had our first kiss at my best friends Casie's birthday party.On that Tuesday I went to his baseball game and figured out he was pitcher.His team was playing against my school's team which had some of my best friends on it.Well, my friend Tyler is super protective of me and he badly sprained Troy's ankle. Oh yea, his name is Troy Vidaure. I was majorly worried until he called me and said it wasn't broken and not to beat up Tyler. So then we talked on the phone and I went his game the next Tuesday and met his mom,Mrs.Beverly.She doesn't say much. Then I bought him and my friend Landon tickets to my dance recital that I only have ONCE A YEAR and they couldn't because of a baseball game.I wasn't that mad but I was a little sad.But then I couldn't go to his all star baseball game on Sunday because it was 45 minutes away and he got furious with me! But I had company over so I couldn't just leave to go see a baseball game that I go see all the time.But the next Tuesday that he had a baseball game he said he was sorry. I talked to him some more during the week and then on Saturday I went to his house and met his parents and his sister.His dad,Mr.Wes, and his sister,Kelsey, really liked me.His dad said to come over anytime and gave me big hug. On that Sunday his phone was off all day.On Monday he didn't answer any of my calls or text until later.I told him that my great grandma was in the hospital and that's when he dumped me.On June the eighth, it was over. I have been broken ever since.To this day I still cry when I wake up. He broke up with me for another girl.Someone prettier,tanner (since I'm the palest thing to walk this Earth),smarter,nicer,just someone way better.I HATE MY LIFE.I should have never let my guard down when we just met. Never.I never trust someone instantly because I don't trust any one. I was stupid. Yet he was the best thing that ever happened to me.And I thank him for loving me.

What do yall think?

So I have a penpal and he lives in Europe.I really want to meet him and his name is Liam Barker should I?

.....

Yea.Me and Bryanna are not friends cause I figured out what she was doing.Me and Wesley broke up.My mother lied to me.I had a terrible week!But..... my new bestiis are Marina and Casie,I am going out with Devan R.,,and I am moving out of my mom's house to live with my grandparents.I have off all next week.

Wesley

I got a new boyfriend his name is wesley i <3 him!!!!

Design

Ya.I've decided to go to college for fashion design.I need yall's help.Tell me What is in style and I'll try to make somethin good.My name is 3OH!8

Marked

So, I am sorry I haven't written in a while I have been busy reading.I have read the whole entire Marked series and it is crappin awsome.I luv it!!! So I have a new reading list for yall!

Twilight

Breaking Dawn

Eclipse

evermore

Marked

Chosen

Betrayed

Untamed

Hunted

Generation Dead 

The Host

ummm?

reply yo me when you're done and I'll give you some more 

Sick

Okay,I am EXTREMELY sick.I have been out of school for three days now.I have the flu and I can't eat anything because it will painfully come back out.I have had fever all week.Also,my throat hurts so bad that I don't want to breath thru my mouth.I'm sorry I haven't written in a while.I have been so busy with dance and everything.I hate winter,it is the worst time of year.It's always so cold and I'm always so busy.GUESS WHAT!!!!I got an autograph from Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.For those of you who don't know what that is,they are a totally rockin rock band.I have been working on my book,Face of an Angel,and my portfolio.Yes,someday I would like to be a fashion designer.I am having my friend Jessica look at them.She makes her own clothes so I am hoping she can make mine.

Finally

It is finally the weekend.I am just texting my cuz Luke.Check this out!!!

Happy Birthday To Me

January 20 was my "birthday"....again.No one told me happy birthday without me having to tell them it was my birthday.Some still didn't say happy birthday.Next week me and Bryanna are going for sushi and a movie.IDK what movie I am going to see.WOW I got a set of light up fangs from a kid.They were so awsome even though vampires don't have fangs FYI.

Over

Um.....Yeah,I did have fun at the wedding actually.I danced alot,of course,not with a boy.Yeah it was in Baton Rouge.I stayed at the Hilton.It was nice.The wedding was very formal.The ceremony took place at St.Josephs Catholic Cathdrial.I had a nice time.

Meamaw

Meamaw......WOW.She is...well...she is something else.She likes....shes a glamour girl.She wears 5inch,pointy toed pumps and drives a red convertable bug.She is my grandma.She can be lots of fun though.The one thing you wouldn't suspect is that she HATES shopping.And another suprise is that ILOVE SHOPPING. So sometimes when I go over she takes me.

ISSP

For those of you who have no idea what so ever what ISSP is it stands for In School Suspention.Yeah ...........sucks right.My teacher treats me like I'm not normal.I should've gottn it on Tuesday but I didn't.Yeah...My cell phone went off in science class.The second meanest teacher in the 6th grade didn't give me ISSP.

School

SCHOOL SUCKS!!!!!Someone tried to break my leg.They gave Tyler ISSP for three days straight!!!Now I'm gonna be bored in Mrs.Ardillos class and pretty much those three days......and Bryanna got ISSP Friday :-( I'm so glad I am getting checked out on Friday.That gets me out of reading my book report on Twilight to the whole class.Attention-crossed off the list.The thing I'm going to do isn't so great.....I'm going to get high........JUST KIDDING.I have to go to a rehersal dinner in Baton Rouge and my Meamaw is "fixing me up"...BLEH!!!Atleast I don't have to wear pink :-! But I do have to wear dresses!My rehersal dinner one is black.....ofcourse.And my Wedding one is a really dark coolish purple.I got to pick them out.No one liked the idea of just jeans,a t-shirt and converse.It sucks because my converse is black with black shoe strings that have neon stars on them.

School

I am about togo to school.....BLEH.I don't have any books to read.but IO guess I'll just hang with my friends today.I hate school but I do get good grades.I have all A's and 1 B.

Yes

Yes.....I am emo.The darkone the weirdo the freak.Whateve. I don't really care what you call me if you don't like me tough,cause I'm not leavin'.

Tyler...The World

I...my..his name is Tyler.He is my best friend in the whole world....Well,him and Bryanna.He will always be my friend,forever.His full name is Tyler Matthew Simpson.He is #17 on the LJH wolves football team.I have no idea of what position he plays.He has lived in Loranger pretty much his whole life...I think.He likes to hunt and play sports.Or really it doesn't have to be a sport,he just likes to show off that he's a good athlete.I think sometimes he is a little to concirned about me and what I'm doing.He can be and is really retarded.Sometimes(most of the time)he likes to be the leader.I have to say he is very good at leading....certain groups. :-]

My Bestii

Bryanna.A million words in one girl.Amazing,clever,friendly,trustworthy,pretty,nice,evil,sneeky,angel-looking,weird,loud,cheerful,livid,smiley,happy and everything you could imagen.Even the bad things.She is sometimes alittle strange but as am I.She can act stupid really well and clean it up extremo fast.I have known her since fifth grade.We will hopefully always be friends.We have only had one fight for a good cause.Bryanna is like a sister to me.When her dad died I cried and almost passed out.When I got hurt she helped me.I have met her brother.HE IS A BIG WEIRDO!!!We both LOVE sushi.Also we like to dance.But as I said..we are uncordinated.She has really long hair but it is up in this picture.

My Emo Buddy

Brandon Balsamo is my emo buddy.He likes to be reffered to from me and Bryanna as "Pimp Daddy Thug Nugget Caboose".He is really funny once you get to know him.He is pretty much my only emo friend.Out in the country if they saw someone emo they would probably pull out their .22's and shoot them like a deer.Brandon is a really smart guy he just acts really stupid.He isn't really a trouble maker......sometimes.He and I just became friends this year and he has been wonderful to me.He is emomazing in other words. :-]

My life so far

My name is Ashlyn,I go to LJH and I'm in the sixth grade.This is my first blog.My day was the same as usual.I went to school and hung out with my friends.I have two best friends,Tyler Simpson and Bryanna HernandezI have lots of friends but some of them can be irritating like my friend Edwin Williams.We got a new girl in our class today,her name is Alexis G.She is very friendly and shy kinda like me.I'm only shy to people I don't know,though.I'm sort-of anti-social.I'm mostly hanging out with Bryanna,Tyler or my friend Brandon Balsamo.He's my emo buddy.I don't have a boyfriend though I don't really like anyone except for two guys.Those two guys which I will not tell you.I just have a problem asking people out and non-to-mention,they're both really loud and social.They are also very popular.Though,I don't really know anyone in this town who doesn't have a big mouth.But anyway,I was really bummed after recess because Tyler got in a fight and I didn't know if he was okay.I really like reading and writing,too.I like books that are abnormal.I have read the whole Twilight series and Twilight itself twice.I read the host and I thought it was wonderful.Also I read Generation Dead because I heard it was alot about my people ,it was very good and I think it very much explains what we go through.I like reading because no one talks to me.Get attention is the last thing on my list.But point is I had an okay day.